Lincoln Loud in the Magical Land of Oz
by Mike0the0mic
Summary: "Have you ever heard that old story? That when all the clocks of the neighborhood reach 12 at the same time, a boom while echoe through the night and signals that magic is about to start." Follow Lincoln through a very peculiar night, one that may blow his mind. P.D: This story does not involve the movie The Wizard of Oz. (Extra point if you mange to figure out the title reference)
1. Night 1: The Dreamcatcher

**Hello there, Mike here with a new story. I know that I said that I would focused on Linc vs Lynn, but the latest chapter is already finished and should be dropping soon, I'm just waiting for my beta reader Quadzilla to give it his thumbs up, so I decided to write this short while we wait. This one will only be a oneshot unless you want more so if you like it please follow and review. Hope you enjoy it.**

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A cold most terrible it was, the last night of autumn. In this cold and darkness laid a poor little boy inside an old dog house. He was trembling with cold and hunger, silently praying to be allowed back into the house he was thrown out of. This boy was young Lincoln Loud, and because of one little lie he told he was forced to wait winter's grasp outside and alone.

He was bareheaded and with naked feet, only his orange pajama on him. From the windows a gleam of light casted the shadow of a family sharing joy, but for him and only him there was none.

As Old Man Winter slowly but inevitably arrived the light simmered down leaving him alone with the stars. The stars he could see through a hole in the rotten planks that were his roof and keep. The stars that slowly guided him towards morpheus realm.

Alone and cold, what picture of sorrow! Oh my, Oh my, what a poor little thing!

But don't worry lads, this is the part where I come in.

You see my friends, when the moon is on its highest, naked or shrouded, and all the clocks on the neighborhood, may they be on the walls or in a stand, hit 12 o'clock at the precisely same time. A boom echoes across the land and it signals that magic is about to start.

Such was that final autumn night, where a melodic tune lured Lincoln outside. There on the streets was a man dressed in yellow and let me tell you boys, there was nothing normal about this fellow. From top to bottom, he was covered in cloaks that seemed like they were dipped in gold. But the thing that caught Lincoln's eyes the most was that in the stranger's hands rested an instrument that he played like a guitar.

It wasn't a normal guitar, at least as far as Lincoln could tell, because with every stroke of his fingers a new sound resonated across the land. A drum, a clarinet, and a xylophone where next and maybe a guitar, if nature hadn't called his cards. Without knowing, Lincoln had walken outside, he only noticed when he stumbled against that really handsome guy.

"What do we have here?" The stranger asked in a smooth voice. "Don't you know it isn't safe to come so near?"

Lincoln couldn't help but gulp down in fear, but he was confused when the man bursted a cheer.

"I'm just pulling your leg lad" He said as he tipped his hat. "Everyone is allowed to have fun in my kingdom." He pulled him closer as he whispered in Lincoln's ear. "Except Morty cause he is kind of a piss off."

The kind stranger pulled another string, and a kazuu let out its ring.

"Now let me introduce myself, if I'm allowed. I didn't mean to be rude or disrespectful. My name is the Dreamcatcher, and I'm afraid it's god's given, even though there are better names out there, just like Steven."

"Now, it's my job to keep and safeguard every single soul that wanders in my domain and you are not an exception, so perhaps you could bring your name to my attention?"

"M-My name it's Lincoln Loud." The boy managed to stuttered. "And I'm bad luck at least that's why they threw me out for." The man shook his head in disappointment.

"What a shame, what a shame. What a man would do to another. Perhaps would you care to join me in a night like no other?"

The Dreamcatcher extended his hand, yet doubt still lingered in Lincoln's mind.

"Listen boy, this deal is one of a kind and if you accept I will show things that will definitely blow you mind."

As the words left his mouth threads of light emerged from The Dreamcatcher palm and without any command they bend across the sky. When all was set and done, a golden dream catcher made of sand floated in front of Lincoln's face.

"So what do you say Lincoln, do we have a deal? Do you want to sleep outside or do you want to experience an unforgettable night!"

Lincoln simply nodded sealing the deal. The Dreamcatcher took a deep breath and blew a chilling wing towards him. The golden dust hitted his eyes and in less than a blink, the stars came alive.

"W-Wow, it's beautiful." Lincoln managed to say in awe while The Dreamcatcher let out a laugh.

"It is, isn't it? The last time I did this, was to a one eared bloke who was quite bright, last thing I heard was he painted one hell of a starry night. But don't get distracted Lincoln, the night is young and is time we brings some other friends in."

With one swept from his hand the tune of a flute emerged from his guitar. One by one the neighborhoods door's all opened. Childs of every size and ages came out with a grin.

" _Follow me boys, and hear my song, for tonight's the night we surrender control!_ "

They followed him across city, across the streets and the river, into the forest where the city's name was given. In a mirage of dances and songs little Lincoln had strayed far from home. The stars and the wind whispered promises of fun into his ears. He and his new friends singed along the Dreamcatcher's tune, telling stories some real, others not.

They finally arrived to the unknown destination. A plain field with only a bonfire at its the center. The light of the stars slowly climbed down towards the earth as on by one the kids ran to them in hopes of catching at least one between their hands. In the end only Lincoln remained next to yellow clad man.

"Excuse me mister, but I don't understand, what are we doing in this strange land?" Lincoln asked with a bit of fear, he didn't want to offend the man who had brought so much cheer.

"I guess I really never explained, and I don't want you to guess. So listen quickly for there is no time to waste." The Dreamcatcher said. "Something I learned through all the years I've lived is that happiness is not about how much you have, but loving the things you already have, even if there's little and yeah you'll have to fail and even hit rock bottom sometimes to truly see how beautiful this life can be. Lincoln, this is my gift to you."

He signaled the field where the other children were running, playing and dancing around the bonfire. Laughter and scream of joy filled the forest.

"I'm giving you the best night of your life so far, a night were you won't have to worry about anything. You can play, dance, sing with the other boys and girls as long as you want. So the next time you feel the world is trying to crush you or that you are completely alone, just remember this night and all will seem right. This is the gift I'm giving to you, hope, hope for a better tomorrow wrapped in night you'll never forget. Y'all have 'till the first sunray hits the grass beneath your feet before I return you and your friends back home. Use it wisely" The Dreamcatcher winked before heading back into the forest.

Lincoln didn't need to be told twice before he ran towards the field. On its way he came a across a girl with pretty hair locks of reddish gold. Who slightly touched his shoulder with her small hands.

"Tag you're it!" She said laughing with the voice of an angel

Something in her tone made Lincoln's heart flutter. As he chased the girl across the field other kids joined them in the game. At some point Lincoln fell into the mud, his clothes were dirty but that didn't stop him. Without giving it a thought he took all of them off just like the rest of the children had done long before.

But just as promised all must end, as if to signal the end of their fun a parliaments of owls flew above the children. Their eyes widened as the twelves owls turned into a single giant eagle. Its wings spread wide in display of it's might. With a prideful cry the eagle closed them, and let the first rays of the sun touch the grass beneath it.

Lincoln Loud woke alone in a familiar dog house. The light of the sun peeked through the holes of his roof. His clothes were still on, no mud was to be seen, he realized it was all a dream. But what he saw outside brought him an honest smile to his face. Hanging from the door, blocking his way out, was a single dreamcatcher, protecting his dreams. And even if today turned as bad as the last at least there would be a tomorrow with something better perhaps.


	2. Night 2: The Inn of the Dead

Oh hello there, back already for more? Very well step right in and make yourself comfortable.

Pardon the mess, I wasn't expecting visit so soon, I'll need a minute or two to find the right book.

Aha! Here it is! Now, where did we left off? Oh yeah "The inn of the dead", what a stuck up name, I was sure he had change it to something more catchy a couple centuries ago, nevermind it doesn't matter. Unfortunately in this chapter there are only whispers at best dedicated to moi. I know! What a tragedy, right? But don't fret my friends, there is plenty more of the dear old Dreamcatcher down the line, but for now sit down, relax and get ready to hear about Lincoln's second night in the magical land of Oz.

 **Night 2: The Inn of the Dead**

A couple of weeks had passed since the whole bad luck fiasco and Lincoln Loud was back at sleeping in his very own new bed in his newly furnished room, yet there were still some _tension_ left between him and his sisters. Just like any other sane ( _and boring)_ person, Lincoln thought that his whole adventure with that really handsome fellow was nothing more than a dream, at least that is what he should had though if it weren't for a golden dream catcher, proof of his magical night, currently hanging above his bed. And of course, unlike _others,_ The Dreamcatcher takes his job very seriously (that is very true and anything else you heard is blatant lie!) so that meant Lincoln hadn't had a single nightmare since his first magical night. But to say that all of the following nights were as peaceful as the first would be a mistake for reasons you're about to see or most likely _read._

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH"

"Can anyone please make her stop!" bawled Lynn Jr. while she covered her ears.

"It's messing with my bats echolocation." Lucy added with her monotone voice as she pointed up at the dozens of bats flying near the roof crashing against the walls and into one another.

"We've literally tried everything to make Lily stop crying" Lori said, her face showed the signs that she hadn't slept in days. They were all gathered around in Lisa and Lily's room trying to find a way to make the youngest Loud to stop crying. "We checked her diaper, gave her food, and tried to put her to sleep but she wont. Stop. Crying!"

"Yeah luv, Lincoln and me even did the whole "Fenton the Feel-Better Fox" stick and she kept crying!" Luna chimed in as she pointed at Lincoln who was still wearing the fox suit for reasons not known nor cared about.

"I swear if any more of my beauty sleeps gets cut short I'm gonn-" Lola was cut short in her diatrive by her only brother who exclaimed loudly.

"Wait guys, I think I've an idea!" Lincoln bolted out of the room and out of that blasted suit, only to return a few moments later with a very peculiar object in hand.

"Oh, pleash!" Objected Lisa upon seeing her brother tie the dreamcatcher above Lily's crib. "Like that ish going…. to work…."

Lisa, and the rest of the siblings as a matter of fact, were baffled as Lily suddenly stop crying and with a big yawn fell asleep in her bed.

"Shurely that's nothing more than a coincidence!" Lisa clarified. Leni couldn't resist and went near the crib to check her sleeping sister closely.

"Guys, she looks totes adorbs" She squeaked, but as she stuck her hands into the bed a feeling of drowsiness invaded her. " I want…..to….ta…..zzzzzzz."

The siblings watched in astonishment how Leni made herself comfortable in the crib next to Lily without waking her, soft snores started coming from her mouth soon after.

"T-That doeshn't prove anything!" Lisa retorted as she climbed over into the crib to take down the dreamcatcher. " Let me show you, I will take this contraptshion down and every...one...will ..remain….be ...shleep….zzzzzzz"

The remaining Loud siblings couldn't help but let out an "Awww" as soon as Lisa joined her other sisters in Morpheus realm.

"Excellent idea Bro!" Luna quietly praised as everyone did their best to leave the room without waking the sleeping ones. "But where did you get that?"

"Eh…" Lincoln almost flinched at the sudden inquisitive tone her sister took, the others simply raised an eyebrow at him. "A friend gave it to me. Thought it wouldn't hurt if I let Lily use it for the night." Lincoln answered as truthfully as he could, without giving away the finer details, while slowly scooting away from his older sisters.

Those still awake headed back to their rooms now that their sleep was secured, but for Lincoln sleep avoided him like a plague. As soon as he closed his eyes nightmares filled his mind. Voices taunting about how worthless he was. His family locking him outside. All the hidden hate and guilt reared its ugly heads as their claws tipped hands wrapped around poor Lincoln's face and throat, his breath along with his heart had almost stop.

 _ **BOOOM!**_

An echoing thunder shook the house down to its roots. Lincoln's eyes opened wide, he was alone in his room, but he didn't feel like that was the case. He checked his entire room but found no clue of the intruder, even Luan's cameras were gone, he was about to go back to sleep when he suddenly heard it. A magical tune that could be heard from far away, it was tame but Lincoln could hear it say:

"Follow me boys and girls of all ages,

Hear my words so you can be freed from your cages.

If you were wronged come to us and we will make it even,

Join me in a night that will never be twice liven. "

Lincoln didn't need to be told twice, he didn't even bother to change from his orange pajamas. His family was all asleep and that call could only be for him, it wouldn't harm to sneak away for a bit. Through the back door he went, in search of The Dreamcatcher's trail. Lincoln Loud went outside with only a flashlight to spare.

Through the streets and out of the city, into the forest Lincoln searched for a glimpse the gold cladded man. The songs slowly faded away leaving Lincoln alone in the dark. A path of dirt was his only guide, not even the moonlight accompanied him tonight. The cold grew stronger and he felt as if someone was watching him. From the corner of his eyes he spotted a shadow that was following him, but everytime he turned it disappeared among the trees.

The night drew darker as his flashlight batteries finally died, it was so dark Lincoln couldn't even see two steps in front of him. With no other choice Lincoln tried to go back and away from the magic tune that had strayed him from his path (yeah, always blame the music!). He was alone in the forest, far away from home. He did his best to trace back his steps but still end up lost.

Then out of nowhere, Lincoln spotted him. A pale thin man standing under a gas lamp Lincoln knew it didn't belong there. His skin was so tight that Lincoln could clearly see his cheek and brow bones tightly marked on his face. This slender individual was wearing midnight, his suit made of the very shadows and the darkness morphed around him forming a cloak darker than the black sky above him. Lincoln's blood drained from his face when the stranger raised it's decrepit bony hand towards him and an unholy bellow escaped from his decrepit mouth.

G̩̳͖̟̖̫̲̩̭̟̟͇̱̽̄̿͌̒͐ͨ́͊̑͆͆̾̃ͦ̀͟͢͡ͅȏ̶̿̑ͫ̌͊͆̃͐͛̓͊̅̾̓̆͠͏͉͍͔̙̘͖͉̥̀ͅ ̴̷̣̦̪͙̞̣̤̰̟͚͉̜͖̪̫̫͚͈͊͒̅̋ͬ̀̎̾͘͢͡b̵̢̰̖̗͙̲̥͖̖ͬͩ̽ͮ͘͘͢à̸̴̝͙͎͔̪̭̹́̽̀ͯ̉̅́ͮͫ̑̔̑̑̒̃̚͡ͅć̶̛̮͖̳͙͇̩̥̫̫̒́̎ͮͣ̐ͥ̊̄k̨̳̥̲̲̹̫̬͖̳̩̭̄̓ͨ̌̓͋͢ͅ!̸̱̙̪̰̯̻̖̦͈̬ͬ̔ͯ͒̄̋͌̇̽̃̐͂̃ͫ͗͑̋ͧ͢͡

Lincoln ran as fast as he could, trying his best to get back into the city. He could feel the stranger behind him, never to close, yet always near. No matter what he did he couldn't shake the stranger from his trail. Suddenly he remembered something Lynn had thought him many years ago while playing tag. A quick u-turn coupled with one or two zigs-zags Lincoln ran past the stranger ignoring his surprised gasp. (Cause seriously, that's all it takes to escape that bone ass!)

Ş̴͙̟̝̼͓̻͍̜̼̊ͬ͂̾̑̒͂͐ͪͣ̇ͥ̍̃̈̒̍͆ͭ͟ţ̧͔̙̖͉̞͍̫ͥͩ͑ͨͨ͂̅ͫ̇͠ͅơ̡̡͉͎̰͓̤̲̭̲̫̱̩͛ͫ̓́ͭ̓́͘p̵̞͙̳̩͚͓̠̤̗͖̳̝̜̙̪͂̎̀ͮ̆̂ͥ̚̕!̡͕̬͉̣̪͚͚̖̫͓̝͎ͣͩ̒ͤ̍̐̂̈̿̔̾̂͞ͅ

"No thanks! I prefer life" Lincoln yelled as he left the stranger behind. The magical lyrics could be heard once again, guiding Lincoln towards safety. His eyes widened at what he saw.

There, in the middle of what Lincoln swore was the same field The Dreamcatcher had taken him, was a small shac lighted up with torches. In the front there was a sign that said 'open'. Music came from the inside alongside cheers of joys and laughter. Not wanting to risk meeting the pale stranger again , Lincoln decided to enter and he felt his heart skip a beat when he saw what awaited him inside.

The shack was at least three times bigger inside than it was outside. His parent's rooms could be fitted a tenfold and there would still be space left to fit another room. The bar curved into the room, dark in the barely lit area. Rows and rows of bottles covered the walls, with stools and tables flooding the floor all packed with customers. A jangle of voices, the sound of a thousand conversations that suddenly stopped the moment the door opened. But what truly shocked Lincoln to his core wasn't the size of the shac, nor the unruly silence, but what was inside it or more exactly _who_ was inside it.

Dead

All the customers were dead and/or in various stages of decay. Not that they seemed to mind, as they all resumed with their conversations as if nothing had happened. Lincoln warily made his way towards the center of the room, where a jolly skeleton was acting as a bartender.

"Um, excuse me sir?" Lincoln sat between two zombies. One had only one hand with three fingers left while the other was missing his entire lower jaw. Not that that stopped either one of them of chugging down a glass of ale as fast as they could. It was actually quite impressive in Lincoln's opinion.

"Oh my, what do we have here? A living boy in the land of the dead? It seems like Morty is slacking off again!" The barkeep exclaimed as he spotted Lincoln.

"Land of the dead?" Lincoln thought to himself. Honestly? Lucy would be quite disappointed if this was really the afterlife. It was too…. _lively_ for her taste.

"I-Is this really the afterlife?" Lincoln stammered out.

"Nah, more like the middle." The skeleton behind the counter answered. "My name is Amadeus and welcome to "The inn of the Dead"!" He punctuated his statement with a little trick of hands which cause the lights to momentarily flicker at the mention of the name. "It's a little something me and the guys upstairs put together to allow boys let off some steam. Now why are you here? Don't take it the wrong way, it's just that we haven't had a living customer in the last couple centuries! "

"My name is Lincoln,sir. And I got here to hide from the Man in Black outside!" Lincoln answered.

"Was he holding a straw of wheat in his mouth?" Amadeus asked with a serious voice that sent chills down Lincoln's spine. The entire bar became silent, like if a ghost had passed.(That's an odd way to say it when you consider that actual ghost are customers in that damned bar.)

He quickly shook his head and just like that things were back to normal.

"Good, that means you only met Morty outside." Amadeus let out a sigh of relief. "You don't have to worry about him, he is harmless but can be a little stuck up about the rules. Plus rest assure that he would never set a foot in this place"

"Why, is there some kind of protective barrier?" asked Lincoln with excitement, you could almost see the sparks in his eyes.

"No" Quickly shut it down Amadeus. "The last time Morty came he passed out drunk and woke up with no cloth and left femur, plus a couple of dicks on his face."

The bar was filled with chuckles as those who were there recalled the event, it was one wild easter sunday.

"..."

"..."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, that was almost two decades ago and he still haven't return to this day. Now, you still haven't answered my question. Why are you here?"

Lincoln tilted his head in confusion, eliciting a few chuckles from the other customers.

"I've already told sir, I was run-"

"Not like that boy," The bartender clarified while serving a pint of beer to another zombie-skeleton, he (it?) was only bones from the waist down. He kept mumbling about getting payback against golden wearing jerk. (Of course, Morty can drink as much as he can with his gloomy aura, but if some of my sand get mixed with the beer and some guys get sent into a never ending coma, I get banned for the rest of eternity!)

"What He asked is _why_ are you here not _how_ you got here, there is a small difference. You see, when good ol' Amadeus was building this place he put a little magic touch so that strangers could only find this place if they really needed it." Another skeleton said as he was seated in the empty stool next to Lincoln. "Good thing he did, otherwise this place would be flooded with troublemakers."

"Like you Horatio?" Amadeus said as he kept delivering orders. "So tell me Lincoln, what's your story? Did you instead of kiss got a goodbye? Or are you running from someone that denied you the chance of being happy?"

"Well… I got into a big fight with one of sisters a couple of weeks ago. Things are better now or at least they are supposed to but I still got the feeling that not everything is forgiven and I know Lynn knows that too."

"So a family drama it is! I got just the right thing for you!" With that Amadeus turned around and picked a couple of bottles that were hanging on the wall. With a skill no living being could have he mixed the content of each bottle into a glass and served it in front of Lincoln.

"Umm sir, I'm too young to drink." Lincoln said as he pushed back the drink. He was baffled when two more appeared next to him all of ever shifting color.

"Those are mortal rules, they don't apply here!" Horatio chimed in as he took one of the drinks. "Trust me, 'Deus here can prepare the drink that perfectly matches what your soul needs."

"You flatter me Horatio, but please don't call me that" He turned towards Lincoln "Boy, it's so dark outside you can't even see your own hands, you will definitely get lost and trust me not all out there are going to be as nice as we are to a mortal kid. It would be better if you take a drink and wait 'til morning, in fact: EVERYONE NEXT ROUND IS ON THE HOUSE!"

A round of cheers was heard through the bar as the undead waitress gave the equally undead patrons another pint of what looked like beer. Lincoln took a tentative sip. His eye widened as the now golden liquid fell down his throat. There were no words to describe it. It was the best thing Lincoln had put in his mouth. Not even his father cooking could be compared with this!

"Wow! This taste delicious!" Exclaimed Lincoln as he chugged down the rest of the drink. Amadeus only let out a chuckle at the sight of the cotton haired boy drinking his first alcoholic beverage.

"Thanks, boy" The skeleton said. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. Tomorrow will be another day, and you'll have time to fix whatever problem you have back home but for now, why don't we celebrate a little?"

Horatio didn't need to be told twice as he jumped over the counter, much to Amadeus dismay, with a new purple drink in hand. He cleared his throat before yelling as loud as he could:

"Excuse me, everyone!" Everyone's heads (or skulls in the case of some of the older customers) turned towards the source of the noise. "As you know, tonight we are joined by a very special guest that isn't from around here. So what better way to give him a warm welcome to the afterlife than by making a toast to the very thing that make us who we are."

" Everyone! Raise your cups high in the air, let's make a toast to freedom! Let's make one hell of a party and if death show his ugly face then we will make him drunk and steal all his cloth again "

"And his right femur!" a voice from the back of the crowd said.

"And his right femur!" repeated Horatio causing the crowd to cheered again. "Carpe Diem!"

"Memento Mori!" Replied the crowd

"Wait what?" asked Lincoln not sure he had heard right.

"Carpe Diem & Memento Mori" Amadeus said as he served Lincoln another drink, this time an emerald color one. "They are the unofficial motto of this place and beyond. They mean " _Seize the day_ " and " _Remember you have to die_ " in latin. Something about how you only have one life so you better not waste it , but then again you only have one life so you better not do anything stupid that may end it early. If I were you I would keep it in mind."

"No, not that" clarified Lincoln. "About making death dru-"

Lincoln was interrupted by the sound of the doors slamming open as an eerie silence invaded the place.

Out of the shadows, the mysterious stranger appeared, except now he wasn't a stranger anymore. Lincoln saw that what he previously thought was an extremely pale skin was actually pure white bone, his eyes were as pitch black as the night except for two small red dots right in the middle of each light sucking black eye socket. He opened the lower part of his jaw opened as a thundering bellow left its mouth. Something almost instinctive made Lincoln dove behind the bar, hiding himself behind Amadeus bony legs.

Ḽ̺̹̯͙̯̑ͨ̓͆́̚ͅi̵̼̹ͧ̽͊̈́͌ͫ͟͝ͅn̛͖̼͚͋͛͡c̨͇̜̩͎ͨ̄̓͆͂o̴̧̮̪͔̖ͦ͊̆̍̇̈l̢̩̦̜̭̮̺͊̈̊̇͂́̚ͅͅṉ̶̹͙̭͆̄ͥ̅̽ ̷̵̢̮̦̳͇͈͙ͨ̓ͮL̦͕̦̻̼̪̽ͮ̋̆ͮͥ͢ǒ̵͙̮̹̌̐͂ͭ͆̍̚͟ŭ̬̺̱̹̲ḑ͕͍̳͖̮̹̯͓̈̐͂̑ͯͫ̀́,̨̱̮̖̲̯ͪ̉ͯ̊ͬ ̡̬̘ͪ̍̃̂͘ÿ̸̼̳̪̩̯̩̝͔͙ͮo̍ͧ͌̀͐ͯ̑͏̧̲͙̮̣͚̝ṷ͔̳̬̠̦̘̍ͦͯ̾̀̀͠ͅͅr͚̖̙̳͑͑̈́̃ͪ̚͠ ̜̥̼̳͇̪̗̌̈͜t̶̛͍͍͈́̎̓ͫ͜i̴͇ͧͯ̑͑̀͜mͬ̒͒̃ͫͮ̓̍̏҉̴͚͓̗̖͇e̪̫̗̰̱̬̐ͭ̊̊́ͪͩ ̵̵̷̳̞̳̗̖̙͂͐͛͂ͧ͐́͊͐į̶̣͔̺̞̦̱̰̈ͧͦ̚͝s͕̱͎̫̩̩̭̲͉̿̀̎͆̌̚͡ ̫̜̱̘̞ͫ̊n̟͔̟̭͇͔͈̤̄͊ͫo͔̠̰̬͊͆͐̓t̶̺̙̀̐ͧ̉̋́͝ ̢̌͗̎͏҉͕̯͓̠̪͇̖ͅȍ̲̬͍͇̹̯̗͌̎ͭͫ͘v̜̜̳͉̿ͭe̷̛̞̥͚͊ͫ͞r̴͈͓͚͈̖̩̭̖̂ͫͣͦ̽ͭ͊̔́͟ ̘̬ͭ̿ͧ͌ͬͬ̂̂͐ỵ̷̖̫ͩ̋̚e̬̮͕̫͂̽̓̓ͪͯ͊̏̕͟ţ͚̲͚̳͙̮̤̰̳ͣͩ̃͆̄ͥ̂̄!̱̮̠̲̘̻ͮ̔̑̇̌̈́͒͡

"Cut it out, Morty!" Horatio interrupted him. "Can't you see we are having a party? The kid did nothing wrong so you ca- "

"Nothing wrong? NOTHING WRONG!?" The strang- Death yelled, the terrifying howl had disappeared leaving only an almost nasal tone of voice. "This is my first day off since the bloody Berlin Wall fell and I have to spent it searching for living brat across the underworld! Do you have any idea how much paperwork I have to do every time a living soul enters the land of the dead? It takes years to fill it properly! I mean how do you even got here boy?"

Lincoln yelped as the attention of the grim reaper was focused on him.

"I was following The Dreamcatcher song a-"

Lincoln decided maybe that was the wrong thing to say when Death's eyes flashed an eerie red at the mention of the golden clad man.

"I swear I'm going to break that stupid banjo (For the last time Morty, it's not a banjo!), next time I see that canary dressed idiot" Lincoln could hear Death mutter behind his breath before he turned towards the still living boy. "Boy, your time isn't over yet, so you're coming with me. I must bring you back to the land of the living"

The deadman said with an air of authority or at least he would have if Horatio hadn't dropped his hand on his dead shoulder and placed a glass of purple liquid in his hand.

"Come on, Morty. Don't be a _dead drop_ , get it?" Horatio punned as he chugged down his own drink. "Plus, you said it yourself, it's your day off and if I remember correctly your contract is the same one as mine and the others, so that means you usually only get a few days off every few centuries and then it's back to work." Few patrons of the bar chuckled at what Horatio was doing to the reaper.

"The boy's going nowhere, so what harm could there be if you wait till sunrise to get him back home while drinking some ale with your good old friends?" If Horatio still had eyebrows, Lincoln decided, they would've been wiggling right now as he clinked Death's green tinted glass with his own.

"Fine," Death finally relented. "but only until sunrise. Then I will take the child home and you will be back to work, no excuses."

"Yeah, yeah I swear an oath that when the first ray of the sun hit the ground _Yada Yada_ going back to inflict harsh punishments and dark torments to the wicked ones who doesn't let or want to live bla bla the usual mumbo jumbo. Now drink! "

"I'm sure I'm going to regret doing this…. Screw it, what's the worst it could happen?" Death said as the crowd cheered as he gulped down the content of the glass.

* _A few moments later_ *

"I-I-I'm teeelling you e-everrryyyythin' washh that dumb pig's fault! Not mine!" The personification of death slurred out as he continued to chugg the now black drink into his mouth.

"Wow" Lincoln muttered as he watched Death order another drink.

"I know right," Horatio said next to him. "Who would had thought that the sinister death, the fourth horseman, was such a lightweight?"

Lightweight was an understatement, it had only taken two sips from his glass to get the pale horseman completely wasted. Not that Lincoln could say anything. After his second multi-colored drink he was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol flowing through his veins while Horatio and the others were easily in their twelve round.

Finally, after much deliberation, Lincoln decided to approach the drunken angel of dark and light and ask him a question that was stuck in his mind for a while.

"Excuse me, ?" asked Lincoln as he tugged the coat of the reaper to gain his attention.

"D-Don't call meeee Death when I'm out of the job!" He (it?) chastised. "Myyy friends call me Mot or Morty."

"Okay Morty," Lincoln corrected himself. "How did you find me? I'm sure I lost you in the forest a while ago."

"I can be postponed, but I will never be denied" Was the only thing Morty said, clearly lying through his teeth to hide the fact he found the boy by pure luck. (Seriously, why does Lady Luck can't be that nice to me, was it because I slept with her daughter, I said I was sorry. ). "If I want to find someone, I will."

As if to punctuate his statement he took another glass of this time red spirits from the counter and gulped down as fast as he could. Not a second passed after the last drop entered his mouth before he hit the floor with a loud * _thump*_.

"Is he going to be alright?" Lincoln inquired as Horatio with the help of another skeleton dragged the unconscious Morty into the crowd.

"He'll be fine" replied Amadeus. "This happens everytime he comes to drink, isn't that right Bob?"

Lincoln turned his head to see a zombie ,sitting on the stool where Horatio was, nod at the statement.

"So...Bob?" Lincoln said as if confirming he heard right.

"I died in the 70's" The now named Bob shrug as he drank a glass of pitch black liquid. "So have you enjoy the afterlife so far?"

"It is…. Not as I expected." confessed Lincoln eliciting a laugh out of Bob.

"Everyone say that the first time they arrive, but usually they end up here for quite a while." Bob continue. "But to be fair this isn't really the after life, more like the middle."

Seeing the confused look on Lincoln's face Bob elaborated.

"You see when somebody dies they do not go straight to the afterlife. Their souls usually get stuck in this place, some call it the land of the dead, others call it the middle life, but not half-life that place is spooky. The Dreamcatcher call it Oz for a reason but call it what you will it's always the same; we ended up here for a while doing what you would call certain "jobs" in order to keep both the spiritual and natural world in balance. For example Horatio and the boys over there work in the predetermination department, they are basically the "Bad Karma" squad, their job is to make sure bad things happen to bad people. Me? I'm still technically a newbie so I handle minor stuff, like making sure that an annoying kid step on a Lego or an asshole step over dog shit with their brand new shoes."

"So if If have a pebble in my shoe, is it because of you?" Lincoln asked recalling all the times he found small rocks he swore appeared out of nowhere in his shoes.

"Most likely" replied Bob honestly with a grin on his face. "Then you got the big leagues just like Morty." He pointed at the currently passed out skeleton who was now lacking any cloth and had a dick drawn in his face. Also his right femur was missing. "Believe it or not he has being the personification of death at least since the first pyramids were built or maybe it was Machu Picchu? I don't know I always mix up both. Anyway after a while your contract expires and then you are allowed to go to the afterlife. Of course there are those who decide to stay even after their contract ends. Take the Dreamcatcher for example, his contract expired a few millennia ago but he's still around usually pissing people and causing trouble. Then you got Santa, the Easter Bunny, The Boogeyman , etc. Honestly? I don't know why they stayed. It gets really boring here after a while."

"That bad?" Lincoln said taking a sip if his now white color brew with a raised eyebrow.

"You have no idea" Bob ranted. "You living folks really don't know how good you have it. This is my first day off ever and it took me almost 50 years to earn it, 50 years of working my soon to be bony ass straight 24/7 for this and the worst part is that other than this place, there isn't anywhere else where you can get good drink or grub."

They both continue to drank in relative silence until Horatio returned and dragged Lincoln to the center of the bar to continue the party. With drink in hand Lincoln joined the skeletons as they danced and laugh at the stories of their life and beyond.

Suddenly the cry of an eagle was heard across the entire building silencing the crowd. Groans could be heard all over the pub as one by one the deadmen drop what they did and started heading towards the door.

"What's happening?" asked Lincoln

"Morning is approaching, " Replied Amadeus. "They must return to their jobs."

"It's morning already?" Lincoln said with widen eyes, he felt as if only minutes had passed since he arrived.

"What can I say, time really do fly fast here." Horatio said joining the conversation. "Hey 'Deus why don't you go to the kitchen and fix Morty a lifebringer, if you don't poor little Lincoln will be stuck here until judgement day!"

Amadeus grumbled something about not calling him 'Deus, but complied as he headed backdoor to prepare the best (and only) hangover cure that worked on the dead. As soon as he was out of sight Horatio dug his hand into his pockets and took out a couple of golden coins that disappeared in a flash of light as soon as he put them in the counter. He extended his hand as far as he could before grabbing a particular bottle of wine that was hanging in the roof above him.

"What are you doing?" Lincoln inquired only to find the bottle in his hands, much to his delight the bottle started to shrink until it could fit in his pocket.

"This is a little parting gift from me," Horatio said as he hid the bottle in Lincoln's back pocket. "Don't worry it won't break there. It's a bottle of _Le Rouge Mort_ , Morty's favorite wine. Remember while Death cannot be denied, it can be postponed. If you ever feel like Morty came for you or any of your love ones a tad to early give him a glass of this and he will leave you alone for a while. But heed my warning, this stuff is way stronger than anything you living have or will have, so don't let any mortal drink it unless you want them to get a literal _killer_ hangover."

Just he finished saying those words amadeus returned with a little cup filled with a semi-transparent liquid. He eyed Horatio suspiciously for a moment before heading towards the corner where Morty was lying. He forced open the mouth of the naked skeleton and slammed the drink down his throat so hard the cup actually went in.

A few moments passed before Morty started choking and spitting pieces of glass.

"What was that for?" Demanded the personification of Death as he noticed his state of undress. "And where is my cloth?!...And my femur?! "

"There" Amadeus replied pointing at the table behind him where Morty's cloth and bone lying around. "Also morning is here, so it's time for the kid to go back to the land of the living."

"I know, I know" With a snap of his finger the bone and the cloth flew towards him and reattach in perfect order. With little effort he picked Lincoln with one hand and headed towards the door.

"Bye Morty, and try to drop him on dry land this time!" Horatio yelled as they were almost out of reach.

"Fuck off Horatio, that happened only once" Morty yelled back. The duo continued to walk down in silence throughout the forest into the city. Not a word was said as they crossed the streets. Before Lincoln knew, he was already in the front of his house.

"So this is it?" He asked to the pale horseman.

"Yup, now I will have to spent the next decade properly filing in the paperwork of your little escapade to the land of the dead." Morty said a tad annoyed causing Lincoln to wince.

"Sorry about that..." Lincoln tried to apologize.

"Don't be, you drank at least half a dozen cups of alcohol meant for the dead not the living. You'll sure to have one hell of a killer hangover for the next couple days. Trust me you are going to wish you were dead." the reaper finished that sentence with a small laugh. "The bright side is that you'll probably never get drunk on any mortal drink. That's going to make you really popular in college."

"Okay…." Lincoln tilted his head at that. "Now I need a plan to get inside without waking up my sisters or my parents."

"Naw, let me take care of that" With a snap of his finger Death was alone in the streets, Lincoln nowhere to be found. Not wanting to waste any more time. The pale rider slowly disappeared just as the first sunray hit the grass beneath his feet.

As for Lincoln? Turns out Morty wasn't lying at all. He had what could only be described as the worst hangover in the history of hangovers a mortal could have. He ended up bed ridden for the rest of the week barely being able to move. Fortunately his mother mistook his state for just a bad case of the flu and called the school to excuse him.

Finally on a sunday morning when most of his sisters where out with his parents he regained enough strength to leave his bed. He slowly made his way towards Lynn's room, whom he knew had decided not to join the rest of the family in their trip to the mall. He hesitated a little before knocking on his sister's door.

"Come in" He heard Lynn said.

"Hey Lynn, can we talk?" Lincoln said not wanting to waste another moment, he didn't knew how much time he or Lynn had before one of them met Morty again, so he was going to do his best to live his life along his family as happy as he could.

 _The End... for now_

Well that was it for this time my amigos! Hope you enjoy it. Right now there are other stories to that must be told so this one must wait for a while. I know there wasn't enough of me in this chapter to please all of you but don't worry there is more to come.

 _P.S: Here's a little hint of what is yet to come: a song, a ton of orange paint and a very very angry sister. See you next time!_


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